I am getting up. The room is unbearably stuffy, my family, fearing death, raises the temperature in April. I get up and fear paralyzes me. The figure sits motionless on the edge of the bed.



"Mom," I shake my shoulder uncertainly.



- Not Mom, not mom, but DEATH.



What? Please? - I do not know whether to laugh or cry because of this grotesque situation.



- Oh! The ears are not washed. This is the first step towards death - the character rubbed his hands and chuckled loudly, turning to me. She really couldn't do it because her breathing in my direction was overwhelming.



- Oh! Toothbrushes are probably not all big enough to see - I cut them off with my nose plugged.



- And not for centuries, because in 95 they buried a dead man with a shoe brush, I allowed myself to use it. He didn't mind. In general, there was some kind of numb type - the figure nudged me with his elbow and laughed weakly.



"Enough of these jokes! What are you doing in my bed?



- How and what? I'm sitting here waiting for you to wake up. We have a saying in the afterlife: "Most accidents happen in bed. Kostucha advises: "Don't sit in bed." It's more pleasant to mow down people when they're standing. Then you can swing well like that... - he started to pretend to mow down a man's head with his hands.



- No madman has escaped from Tworek like nothing. Why am I always so lucky with people? I put my head on my knees and desperately began to squeeze my own hand to wake up.



Don't worry. You can only have failure once. But now I'm serious. Deadly serious," he chuckled again, shaking his big belly, "I'm coming to you on a mission."



"Get out of my room because.".. I'll call the police-How could I not have thought of this sooner?



- Try your luck. Death pointed at my phone. I caught it and have already dialed the number, but I don't recommend it. There will only be tantrums who drank whiskey with their parents.



- what? Have you been drinking Irish whiskey? They're going to kill me. "I thought I could start digging a grave."



"Death is at your service." I bow low. But seriously, it's quite, quite this whiskey. But you can't compare it to the drink that once brought the Pharaoh to the afterlife. It was just ambrosia. In general, there were better times. When they died, they took the bottle with them and their groceries. That and Death looked merciful. And now there are these crises everywhere, savings...



"Please leave my room and stop talking nonsense!"



"But I really am Death."



"I can't believe it!" Prove it! Anyway, where do you have a scythe?



- I returned it to the grinder because it got a little boring, because it doesn't work. I can remind you of any event in your life. Do you remember when you were at the festival and almost fell on you with a cotton candy bench? I saved you because I didn't want you to die.



"From what I remember, my father saved me. You weren't there.



- I was, I kept getting you out of trouble because you were poking your nose everywhere. Do you remember when you were 4 years old and the ants covered you and ... - Here he leaned into my ear.



"Oh, no," I said... You can't know that," I blushed like a beetroot.



"I can, because I am Death," he said with a sly expression and began to float in the air.



"So what?" Do you want to take me? I asked, and tears welled up in my eyes when I imagined my parents crying over my grave.



"And she wanted her soul to be in heaven, but they wouldn't let them in!" - A good mood did not leave death - My miss is not so fast.



"And when will you take me?"


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